But I did get a new computer. A MacBook Pro. I was so excited...until I learned it doesn't come with any sort of word processing software. Really? When did a computer come without it?! (So I haven't purchased a computer in over six years. Don't judge me!) And where in the heck is the backspace button? And you can't do control I for italics? So I'm trying to figure out a new operating system. I've been assured I won't regret the painful learning curve.
I did pull out my old laptop (read: circa 1990-ish or there about) and go to B & N on Saturday for an hour or two. It was overall fairly depressing. I worked, for the twentieth time, on my first two pages. I have rewritten the beginning of my story over and over, and it still isn't working for me. Just when I think it might be pretty good, I read an article in a writer's magazine and find it's pathetically lacking.
Back to square one.
In my little world, October is ushering in with company for half of the month, the aforementioned remodeling and fixing of water-logged carpet and walls, cleaning and entertaining. Not seeing much time on the horizon for writing. November is much of the same, with the house being prepared to hold 23 family members to celebrate Thanksgiving. I am holding out for December.
My goals have changed dramatically since I began this process in January. I thought that maybe I'd be done with the story by June...then August sounded more appropriate...and now December seems laughable. But even when the thought creeps in, Maybe this just isn't your time, I toss it off my shoulder with the snarky red devil that whispered it in my ear. I refuse to give up. I can't do it. I'll continue to plod and plunk, erasing entire pages where necessary (can't tell you how many times I've done it) and enjoy the process, knowing that I'm not being paid a dime.
Somehow, despite all the effort for no monetary pay-off (crossing fingers for a later date...), I feel compelled to write, to create and to polish the story. To feel the satisfaction of a well-crafted scene or sentence. For me and for my characters. Mostly for me.
Or at least to live in the delusion of such at 3 a.m.
